Eating Disorders

The source typically comes down to relational dynamics, attachment and trauma.

Transcript

00:00:55  Charlotte: Not unlike when working with people with addiction, people who come to me for help with eating disorders, I meet them where they are. And rather than putting too much onus on the clinical presentations of their eating disorder, looking at the source and with everyone that I've worked with that has an eating disorder, whether it's bulimia or anorexia or overeating, the source typically comes down to relational dynamics, trauma, and attachment. And whether those attachments within the family model are disordered. It's returning back to what is seemingly a basic principle of approach, which is how that person is having a relationship with their self, others, and the world.

00:01:57 Charlotte Eating disorders and the motive behind an eating disorder, there are many, what I have seen a lot of is scenarios whereby young adults aren't able to exercise their free will. For instance in an environment of high performance, high expectations, perfectionistic, parents that unbeknownst to themself, it's not intentional but parents in their love for their kids wanting the best for them, therefore being cheerleaders for their greatest potential.

00:02:48. Charlotte: Sometimes that can be overbearing for a young adult and anything less than perfect can make them feel flawed. I'm not suggesting that everybody that has come to see me with an eating disorder, it's the parent's fault but what I have seen over and over is that where there's a young adult struggling to be in her or his body is a young adult that doesn't feel that they have a sense of choice, a sense of control over their life and/or a young adult that is wrestling through a trauma that they can't process.

00:03:28.  Charlotte:   So there are people who want to disappear, people that start to restrict their food intake because they don't wanna draw attention to themselves. And that sounds counterintuitive because naturally as one gets thinner and thinner and not looking so healthy that draws attention, but that's really not necessarily the motive behind that young adult. It's to take up less space if shame is involved.

00:04:05  Charlotte: Also, I have seen many young adults be in environments where change isn't occurring, where there are dynamics that are unhealthy and the parents and/or the community around aren't making assertive choices and so, the eating disorder can develop as a means of asserting choice. And ironically, looking to have an effect on reality when a young adult is able to control their eating and their exercise and they see their body changing, that can help them. Again, it's a paradox to feel more alive because they're able to create movement, have an effect in stagnated environment.

00:05:05  Charlotte: And so, again, as with working with people with addiction, you meet that person as an individual. Eating disorders, yes, they have a clinical presentation, but I very much like to look at what the nuances are and how to remodel the relationship that that person is having with their sense of self, their sense of power and their sense of choice.

00:05:36  Charlotte:  And pretty much in every situation where I have worked with people with eating disorders, whether young adults or adults, it involves a big investment on behalf of the family, too, and having the family being willing to allow that person to assert themselves in a different way, in a more healthy way where they can live more expansively, more authentically and not feel the need to have to hide and shrink and/or take control of things in a more lower self way. It's a family affair often.